Here Snakey Snake

If you are a stalker and read my description, you would have seen mention of North West New South Wales. For all of you people from other countries... What are you doing here?!

Heehee just kidding foreign pig-dogs, no, NSW is the most populous state in Australia... Look, Sydney is there, ok?

I grew up on a 1000 acre cotton farm outside a small town in the North West of the state called Wee Waa (pronounced Wee War) and yes we have heard every urination joke available.

Yes, even that one...

Check it out, it actually has a website! Man they are really catching up to the 20th Century!
http://www.weewaa.com

And no I dont know what a Bale load of Peace is... I would like to think it involves industrial machinery and a truck load of greenies, but maybe thats just wishful thinking.

BTW, dont drink at the Royal Hotel on that page, go round to the Bowling Club... they dont call Thursday "Fight Night" at the Royal for nothing.

Anyhoo... Mostly growing up on the farm was mindless boredom, interspersed with bouts of turning the tractor around. For instance while driving the fields, I would look forward to Thursday mornings at 11am as there was a science show with Dr Karl Kruszelnicki. That's right, I spent the whole week looking forward to 1 hour on Thursday mornings.

It was really flat, really dry, really hot and really snakey.
Seriously, there were a LOT of snakes out there, in summer we used to see a couple of Eastern Browns per week. These happy little chappies. We lost several cats to these little guys and know several people that have been bitten by them.

There's a reason why every photo that you see looks like that, the nasty little sods are always ready to attack something.

I love the city "experts" who say "Leave them alone, they'll leave you alone" BULLLLLLLLSHIIIIIITTTT, if you see one of these run the other way, waving your arms screaming "SNAAAAAAAKE". The last part isnt essential but it'll be good for a giggle.

I think it's cos they know they can kill just about everything and they love it. I wouldnt be surprised if I heard a story about one getting mad at a tree and striking away. I also wouldnt be surprised if the tree died.

Most of those lists that have "Top 10 Deadliest Snakes in the World!" have this sucker at Number 2 or 3.

So one day, during the height of summer while driving around in the mighty battle truck (BTW I still miss that truck) I drove into our workshop. I leapt out intending to grab my part and head back out to the field.

The ground rolled under my foot... Ground isnt supposed to roll I hear you say

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKEEEE!!!!!

Queue the Phar Lap comparisons cos I would have beaten anyone that day... If Usain Bolt had been running through the yard he would have been passed like a one legged midget before the final E passed my lips.

When I finally stopped about 100 metres away, I guess realising that snakes cant fly, I turned to see Chad laughing so hard he couldnt stand up straight. Lets put this in perspective here... Chad was named that cos he looked like Chad Morgan

Don't get your panties in a bunch, we dont do "Politically Correct" in the country









When Chad managed to stop laughing and get some air into his lungs he said...

"You didnt touch the ground man, legs pumping like Wile E Coyote"

Thank you snake for making me look like a cartoon dog.

And no I am not phobic of snakes, I just felt the need to look under all the seats in the battle truck while armed with a shovel before getting back into it... thats just common sense.
If I had hosed down everything with the steam cleaner inside and out on the off chance that the little bastard was lying in wait... that would have been phobic.

Ok, I couldnt get it running... shuddup.

A couple of weeks later our neighbour Ed came by and was attacked by said snake and got my pay back for me.

I feel a bit wary after telling that story, I'm going to go check under the seats in the car... Where's my shovel?

A Bale Load of Peace to you all

pOWENed

BTW, I Googled Wee Waa and Summer and got this... I really dont remember too much dashing through the scrub with my BAR throwing grenades at Japanese soldiers... but hey, things might have changed in the last 15 years.