Today I thought we would do something different, some movie reviews. I'm not mucking around though, nitty gritty movie reviews, here we come:
Movies I have seen recently, not necessarily new ones:
1. The Watchmen:
I'd like to say that it took me a full night's sleep to decide I liked this movie. I have a message for the makers though...
WHATS WITH ALL THE BLUE DONG, MATE?
Seriously, this is a GOOD still of that smurf in the movie
You'd be excused for thinking you'd walked into some weird gay porno
Gets 3 pOWENed's. Would have been 4, Im just saying directors...
2. Sex Drive
Hilaaaaarious, it sounds so tacky and I was expecting Superbad quality humour (Im looking at you J) but imminently watchable.
BTW the uncut version has a LOT more bewb in it, not just "Oh yeah, thats a nipple now". I'm talking about random naked women wandering around.
Could just be a guy movie?
Nah, if only for the Fall Out Boy Amish party scene.
3 1/2 pOWENed's
3. Australia
this dog's breakfast is some of the worst big production I have seen in a LONG time. When will people realise that making movies big wont make it epic... it makes it ridiculous! Doesnt even deserve a picture, SO many stupid moments in this movie
1. Mother dies in holey water tank. Have you ever seen a windmill work movie people? it takes 9 HOURS to fill a tank that DOESNT have holes... you'd be lucky to be able to get a drink out of that one.
2. Kid stops 200 head of cattle with 3 brain cells between them with the power of his bullshit. That kid would have been at the bottom of a giant beef stacks on.
3. Mission Island... where do we start? The shack wasnt bombed, the japanese didnt land there etc etc. Why not use the real story? one of the guys was taken from a yacht and beheaded? Why make it up?
4. Darwin evacuation. CIVIL evacuation... that means the military and support stayed.
Honestly, who was fact checking this? The local special school?
Dont get me started on Nicole Kidman, she's IN the local special school. Ive seen better acting from a cardboard cutout.
Can I give it negative pOWENed's?
And bad acting brings me on to the finale
4. Valkyrie
Mission impossible with an eye patch.
Look, no, I just wanted to use that line. This was a good movie, myself and Mrs pOWENed thoroughly enjoyed this movie.
Let's be clear, we enjoyed it in spite of Tom Cruise, there are dozens of great actors (and a lot of shoddy ones) that could have done a better job than this midget stomping around like a crazy bastard.
Ok, lets put one thing out there... This is Von Stauffenberg, the hero of the story.
At 6'3 he cast an imposing figure...
This is Tom Cruise, a swivel-eyed loony
My 4 year old is taller...
You know what, they should have cast him as Hitler... THAT would have been worth watching.
Still gets 3 1/2 pOWENed's
and now, back to your regular scheduled programming.
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